Change + 365 + Nelly

As you may have noticed, well at least if you've be around a while, there are some changes on this here little ole blog. But just in case you are as observant as yours truly, I'll point it out to you. The change is in the title; Starting Over at the Dirty 30.

I turned 30 in October.  The big 3-0.  It was a birthday I was not particularly looking forward but always seemed like so far away.  I mean, people who are 30 have their shit together and are like real adults.  At 29, I certainly didn't feel as if I had my shit together yet and certainly didn't feel like an adult, even though I have a house, I am married, had a full-time job, pay bills, etc.  You know all those adult-like, and what adults don't tell you about when your a kid, kinda stuff.  

Anyway, as the day quickly neared, my opinion of turning 30 started to slowly change.  Not one of dread, like so many of peers seemed to have been experiencing, but to one of hope.  A new decade, a new me.   A chance to start over.  I made some drastic changes in my life, like quitting my job of 6.5 years in June, and started to feel really empowered.  For the first time in my life I felt I was finally in control.  

You know when you were a little girl, when you daydreamed of what your life would be like when you grew up?  For me, I would meet the love of my life while in college, get married quickly out of college then have a few kids of my own.  This would, I had assumed, be accomplished well before I was 30.  Well, as we all know, things don't always turn out as we plan.  

I'd experience moments (most likely when aunt flow was visiting) of the blues when I found myself feeling as if I had failed as an adult because the life I had dreamt of as a little girl was not the life I was living.  I know our interests, wants, and needs change as we age but this feeling would often creep up on me.  

It was not until after leading a group discussion on self-esteem (I led group discussions on illness/wellness management at the old job) that I realized, along with comparing ourselves to others, comparing ourselves to our former self or a self we once thought we should be, is just as debilitating.  Once I realized this is what I was doing, I started to make a conscious effort to stop this self-harming way of thinking.  While it took me another year or so to finally make the changes in my life I needed to feel complete happiness in all aspects of my life, the important part is that I did.  

Do I have my shit together now?  Absolutely not.  I probably won't ever feel as I do.  Because I don't think I will ever feel as "old" as I am.  So, while I envisioned a completely different life for myself when I was yougin', I am slowly starting to let go of the idea who I thought I was supposed to be so that I can finally start living the life I now want and become the person I am meant to be.  

While I still have every intention of continuing to share my photos on this here blog, I would like it to be more about whatever I feel like at the moment.  So please follow along while let go who I thought I was, to become the person I am meant to be.  And hopefully show you people in your 20s that turning 30 isn't as scary as you anticipate it to be.

With that being said, and since today is Friday, below are this past week's 365 Project Photos.  Hope you enjoy:

Mar 9, 2013.  Day 79 of 365.
"Tree Shadow"
"First signs"
{These were all taken during an impromptu walk through town to the local library for a new book.}

Mar 10, 2013.  Day 80 of 365. 
"Change of Heart"
{New book from the library enjoyed on the back porch on a 60+ degree sunny Sunday afternoon}

Mar 11, 2013.  Day 81 of 365.

Mar 12, 2013.  Day 82 of 365.
"Night Stand" 

Mar 13, 2013.  Day 83 of 365.
"Winter Bareness"
{My favorite street by far in Sewickley is Pine Street.  It is a beautiful tree lined quiet street that looks beautiful year around.  I laid down in the middle of the street to get this one.  A different perspective then the one I usually I try to get}

Mar 14, 2013.  Day 84 of 365.
"Thursday Night"
{Season 4 of Friends, candle light, and a glass of wine makes for a good night.}

Mar 15, 2013.  Day 85 of 365.
"Morning business"
{Can't believe how long it took me to discover coffee.  If I had, I am sure I would have been much more productive in the morning.}

Okay, okay, I know that was a lot for one post.  But I hope you are still with me as I end with an oldie but a goodie from Nelly for another music link-up (in case you couldn't already tell I really love music) #backthatazzup Friday with I Wore Yoga Pants to Work
Nelly - "It's Hot in Here" 

Happy Friday everyone and hope you all have a good weekend!  I am looking forward to a day of Green and day drinking downtown for St. Pattys Day festivities with a friend tomorrow.

Oh, and P.S.  I am now on BlogLovin.  So click on that strange looking head over there on the right and be sure to follow me there as well.  I cannot believe it has taken me so long to join it.  So much easier to follow all of my blogs now! 

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